Table for one, please.

I think the best thing a person can do for themselves is learn to be comfortable in their own skin and alone. It's so important to feel OK in your own self, whether you're hanging out completely alone, or you're flying stag in public without buddies as back up.

I've always been more of a loner, but within the last few years I've been able to transform that hermit who squirreled themselves away from public outings into a confident, independent person. For that to happen, I really just had to overcome my social anxiety. I know that sounds easier said than done, and it took years of sweaty-handed panic attacks inside of crowded bars/non-crowded parties/malls/gyms to get myself to the headspace where I could do it, but it can be done! And guess how I did it?? I faked it.



It sounds silly, but the whole "fake it till you make it" idea actually works. It was hard at first, so I made up an alter-ego persona to fit my nickname "Hatelyn" (hah). Kate might have been shy and nervous in new places, but Hatelyn wasn't. Hatelyn walked into rooms and didn't look around to see if anyone noticed her. Where Kate's tongue caught, Hatelyn spoke her mind. Eventually, that independent, strong person wasn't just someone I pretended to be, I just was her; I am her.

I've found that the more confident I allow(ed) myself to be, the less I care(d) what others think, and the easier it is to let that old anxiety-ridden version of myself fade away. (And frankly, I've found that the only people who care enough to get invested in someone else's life are those who aren't happy in their own~ ;)) But ya know, good riddance.