Landed in New Orleans last night for a week long trip to visit my friend Cheyenne for Halloween. I didn't get to do a lot of exploring into this picturesque place yet because I woke up feeling like death from a daiquiri (I was greeted with one right when I got picked up from the airport! What!) and shots/beer/everything hangover, but I'm excited to check this place out over the next week. I still feel like I'm getting punked by the open container laws here but here's to more public drunkenness (in better moderation).  

If you've ever been a server you'll understand what I'm referencing when I say "server voice"; the artificial nice voice you use with customers to portray this false image of being a really upbeat person who actually cares if they want an extra side of mayo with their burger. That server voice is how I feel I've been portraying myself via this blog since I started it. And that false voice is why I needed to take a step back for a bit.

I've never had an issue with how I portray myself offline, in any type of interaction. I'm a fairly upfront, no-nonsense type of person who won't shy away from confrontation and don't care how people interpret me. I dropped out of high school, I'm a loner, and I'll always be some sort of artistic weird that I'm perfectly okay with. But in creating a space online, you open yourself up to an entirely different audience, which I found myself catering to for no reason. It's really easy to find yourself keeping up with the Joneses (or in this case all other bloggers) when they're a click away posting their pinterest-tailored highlight reels. I don't care about weekly topic posts or superficial filler nonsense, and it's silly to pretend I do.

I'm gonna try harder to not try so hard anymore. I'm a 26-year-old (who still hesitates with where the hyphens go) that just figured out how to handle her finances (r/personalfinances is a godsend, ps), can't get her diet straight, and starts more things than she finishes. And that's totally okay.

Unfortunately the change in weather from Summer to rainy season seems to have hit me harder in the emotion department than I anticipated and I've spent the last few weeks (hence the hiatus) mostly scrambling to feel more like a person and less out actually doing things besides feeling like I'm wading through jello; as such, I don't have a compilation of my favorite things from September to share with you. Instead, I've put together a playlist of chill, upbeat songs that have just felt appropriate for those mornings when I really need something to dance around my room to, or when I need something in the background while floor painting/attempting to clean. There's some new and some old on here and I think they really work well together. I suggest you listen to the playlist on shuffle because I had no particular regard to order, just how the songs made me feel. :)

(click here to open in spotify)

Because it's the first of October and the start of a new month, I've decided to try to really kick myself in gear this month (here's hoping I can hold onto that feeling still in a week!). Just last night I discovered the subreddit "r/getdisciplined" that seems to have a lot of tips that could be useful; I'm still perusing for ideas but figured it might be worth a share!

xx