If you've ever been a server you'll understand what I'm referencing when I say "server voice"; the artificial nice voice you use with customers to portray this false image of being a really upbeat person who actually cares if they want an extra side of mayo with their burger. That server voice is how I feel I've been portraying myself via this blog since I started it. And that false voice is why I needed to take a step back for a bit.

I've never had an issue with how I portray myself offline, in any type of interaction. I'm a fairly upfront, no-nonsense type of person who won't shy away from confrontation and don't care how people interpret me. I dropped out of high school, I'm a loner, and I'll always be some sort of artistic weird that I'm perfectly okay with. But in creating a space online, you open yourself up to an entirely different audience, which I found myself catering to for no reason. It's really easy to find yourself keeping up with the Joneses (or in this case all other bloggers) when they're a click away posting their pinterest-tailored highlight reels. I don't care about weekly topic posts or superficial filler nonsense, and it's silly to pretend I do.

I'm gonna try harder to not try so hard anymore. I'm a 26-year-old (who still hesitates with where the hyphens go) that just figured out how to handle her finances (r/personalfinances is a godsend, ps), can't get her diet straight, and starts more things than she finishes. And that's totally okay.

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